I used to be really good friends with this one chick, from school, last summer… and by really good friends I mean I wanted to fuck her/go out with her kind of/maybe/probably not but I’d still fuck her cuz she’s skinny and hot. When school started again she found a new group of stupid girl friends that were only interested in doing stupid girl things such as going “boywatching”. Who the fuck does that?! Do they plan boywatching a month before and set a date when they will all dress up in slutty camo clothes and hide in a bush by the beach and spy on guys? Probably not… they are too stupid to be stealth any way. Boywatching is fucking retarded… guys never go girlwatching… we skip the bullshit and just got down to what matters.

Out of nowhere this girl sends me a really fucking retarded and annoying message on Facebook which said, “this is unacceptable, we need to hang out on the beach and have sushi”. Uhhhhh wtf bitch? I purposely haven’t made any effort to even think of you for the whole year, even though your class was next door to mine… what makes you think I wanna hang out on the beach and go to a restaurant and sit across the table from you while I watch you drool sushi chunks all over your clothes, (which she actually did LOLFAILBITCHHAHAHAFUCKYOU). Any way, girls seem to have this magnetic pull that suck you in… no matter how much you would rather jump off a bridge. Luckily the weather was shitty so we didn’t really go to the beach. After sushi I was feeling pretty good… mainly because her dropping sushi shit down her front was fucking hilair but also old feelings were coming back and I, for a brief second, thought there might be some good in this chick. We went for this epic long walk… and during this walk she talked about how she has this new group of guys she hangs out with who are all pro snowboarders and skaters who dropped out of school in grade 8. This would of been mildly funny if she wasn’t a 23 year old, high achieving University student. On one hand I was pissed because my legs hurt from walking 9876543.87 miles, on a full stomach of Yam Tempura, with this stupid anorexic-wanna-be-hipster bitch who is telling me that her ideal guy is someone who is more useless then a rotten piece of plywood. I could of been at home jacking off to fat lesbian porn instead. On the other hand I was happy because it always feels good when some stuck up bitch, who is trying to make you feel bad by talking about her boys, is clearly sinking so low it hurts.

I walked her back to the subway, hugged her goodbye and didn’t really respond when she said “lets hang again soon”. Yea sure… right after I polish off a 2 L bottle of anti-freeze.

I drove home realllllly fast… I was hoping I could recover some of the time I wasted by driving 50km over the speed limit.

I probably lost a good amount of weight during the course of this walk… It was fucking LONG… It’s crazy how much girls can talk.

Based on this experience I can safely assume that all other females are fucking retards and a waste of my time.

P.S. The new Eminem CD is… I donno

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