I woke up today all stoked on life because it’s sunny outside and I had an awesome night. Went into the kitchen to have breakfast but instead I decided to read todays paper which had a fairly interesting article about doomsday… which is totally cool because doomsday is way more awesome then yogurt and cereal.

So…. apparently Judgement Day is, in fact, supposed to happen on May 21, 2011… which is in 4 days… word!? It’s not going to be the actual physical “end of the world”, (as in the planet earth gets blown to shreds due to earthquakes, volcanoes, meteors, nukes, aliens, black holes, things and other cool stuff), but rather a “cleansing”. Jesus is supposed to come and send all the sinners to hell while the few who spent they’re lives praying will stay, or go to Heaven, or whatever. Even though this story has a high probability of being complete bullshit there is always that annoying possibility that there might be truth to it. This got me thinking… am I a sinner?? Realising how dumb that question was I quickly revised it a bit. How bad of a sinner am I?? Hmmmmm… not that bad I think. Obviously this piece-of-shit blog is a huge sin but I don’t think I’m that bad as a person. Sure I watch porn, swear, make fun of people, never go to Church, have pre-marital sex, drink, stay up past my bedtime, have a thing for guns and knives, drive over the speed limit, listen to rap-music and try to shoot Chipmunks with my BB gun when they come onto my deck and start eating my strawberries. (I fucking love strawberries… don’t ever fuck with them!!) But apart from that I don’t think I’m that bad of a guy. There are way worse people out there who definitely need to go to hell… like my ex-girlfriend for example! If Jesus is all up in the 21st century like most of us are then he is probably reading this blog because this blog is the fucking shit! Jesus… before you come visit us on the 21st can you please consider this proposition. I strongly suggest that you send all the mean ex-girlfriends to hell… the ones that cheated on us, didn’t appreciate us, thought they were the fucking boss and played us like it’s cool. You can also send murderers and rapists to hell as well… and anyone who wears EdHardy or watches Jersey Shore… except my girlfriends sister… she watches it but she’s really dope and I’m trying to convince her not to watch that piece of shit show. Yea… that’s all I ask of you Jesus! Seriously… the world will be a better place without those kinds of people. Oh wait… while you’re at it… throw all the Wall Street exec’s into a special pit of death as well because they stole all our fucking money. No wait! I have a better idea… give us, the working class, an endless supply of pimped AR-15’s and ammo so we can go show those thieving sons-of-bitches what the deal is!!

Any way… like I said… that Judgement-Day-hype is a bunch of bull that makes more idiots like me read the newspaper… which gets someone paid.

Here is the article.