Archives for posts with tag: Bullshit

A couple of friends have asked me recently for girl advice. Advice as in “how do I find the right girl?” Well my friends… there is no right girl… that actually exists anyway… but you can get pretty damn close if you’re lucky & patient but mostly lucky & not thinking with your dick. Girls are becoming smarter, more cunning & more independent at an alarming rate… this is bad news boys! These power whores are a mans worst enemy. It’s been said that the new ‘playa’ is the power chick. They prey on guys like it’s a sport… since when did we become fair game… how the fuck did that happen? Bottom line is… when you see a power chick… RUN! … or just tell her to fuck off… nithing is more manly then telling some hot bitch to get the fuck out if your face… seriously… try it! Let’s talk about what to look for/stay away from. I came up with a checklist that outlines the process of finding a decent girl in todays fucked up society.

– She can’t think she’s too hot. Girls who think/know how hot they are will never take you seriously & will always think they can do better.

– She can’t club. Not even once, ever, hell fucking no! You go clubbing for a couple reasons & none of those include clean fun/entertainment. Girls that want to club are a waste of time.

– Should rarely, if at all, use Facebook &/or ither social media. Facebook/twitter whores are… well…. whores. Any kind if whore belongs on the corner getting pimp slapped for being such a whore. Girls who use social media too frequently are seeking attention & it’s not going to be from you.

– Too many tattoos. Bitches who have too many tat’s are not only hideous but they are seeking something that they aren’t even sure of themselves. Fuck that.

– The cute girl in school who wasn’t popular but was kind of a geek is your new target. These girls are wife material. ‘Nuff said.

– Likes to cook. It seems cliche to say this but sooo many girls wont lift a finger to cook anymore. They expect the guy to handle the cooking now-a-days. Fuck off Miss. Independent!! Cooking together is one of the best joys in a relationship.

– History if cheating. Unless she has a damn good reason for cheating in the past stay the fuck away.

– Girls who like money too much. They wont like you… just your money. & when you run out she says bye.

– Girls who like sex too much. It’s fucking annoying. Bitch I’m tired & maybe I actually want to spend some time with you outside of the bedroom. Besides… horny girls are more likely to cheat.

– Girls who socialize too much. They will never let you have your full say in anything & it’s fucking a slap in dick watching your girl chat with other guys all the time.

– Jersey Shore type girls. Eeewww & useless & see clubbing.

– Girls who like doing normal things like cooking, going for a walk, reading, watching the sun set, spending time with family, etc… These are golden…but rare. When you do find one..hold on!!!

Seriously! No one gives a fuck! As in no one gives a fuck about you… or me… or your mom… or even their own mom. While I get older I realize more and more that no one cares about other people. I mean I definitely don’t care about other people but I was hoping that I was just one of a few… but no… pretty much everyone is a huge fucking asshole these days. Don’t believe me? Just think of everyday shit… like walking down the street for instance… everyone is on their own mission, rocking out to their iPods, texting, looking at the ground… doing everything they can to avoid any contact with the people who are walking beside/around them. This state-of-mind escalates once trouble, sorrow, confusion, danger, explosions, guns, panic, etc… start happening. Going back to the “walking-down-the-street-scenario. Say everyone is waiting for the light to turn green so they can walk across the street and once it does turn green some older lady trips on the curb and falls. Will anyone help her? Most likely not… maybe that one person who is at the back of the pack and realizes how fucking retarded and douche-bag-ish he will look to everyone who is watching from afar if he doesn’t stop and help. In the meantime… everyone just pretends nothing happened, or they didn’t see, and just walks around the poor woman and continues on.

I once read this article in the news paper which said some dude got stabbed on the street, in broad daylight, and no one helped because no one wanted to be on involved. Obviously not! No one has time to help out some dude who is bleeding to death ‘cuz there is way more important shit to do like go to Starbucks and get fat off of Venti Frappachinos while updating your twitter account about how you just walked past some dude with an epic-dope-stab wound but was too much of a bitch-ass to stop and help.

You could probably break into someones car in a crowded parking lot, alarm blaring an’ shit, and no one would do anything. I’m not sure where this mentality came from… I guess we are all so focused on our own goals… or maybe the world is just too competitive right now that we subconsciously try to always be one step ahead at work, school and even when someone is lying on the side-walk in a pool of blood dying. “Hahaha your fucking dying bitch… I’m not… I’m a step ahead of you because I’m still fucking alive… I’m just gonna walk past you with my head up my ass and pretend that I didn’t even notice you lying there… even though I just splish-splashed through a puddle of your blood.”

Like I said… I don’t give a fuck either… if someone was spray painting a building as I walk-by I wouldn’t care because graffiti is the fucking jam but if I saw someone in legit trouble I’d help for sure… I think… unless it was someone I hate… then I’d just pee on them.

It has been about a month and a half since I graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in _______ Design. I did well in school, made good connections, built a strong portfolio, gained fantastic experience and felt like I was ready to go out and grab that dream job. LOL!!!! I have never felt like a bigger loser in my life. Here I am… with this “education”, “skill set”, “bullshit”… yet no one really wants to talk to me. And I’m not even alone on this… most of my graduating class is in the same shit hole, same with other graduates from other programs that have nothing to do with any type of design. It’s the same at every job… even gay-ass-shitty-jobs that I wouldn’t even want… they want a min of 5 years of experience in the industry. WTF!! Fuck you industry!! If I could I would gladly deliver a min of 5 blows to your fucking head with a baseball bat. How is anyone supposed to get this “5 years of exp” if no one is willing to hire fresh graduates??? If they do hire us the pay is so bad that we can barely survive off it. I think the design industry is a piece of shit… why did I get myself into it… I should have gone to business school or engineering or someshit. Design companies are cutty as fuck… the bosses or art directors want you to do as much as possible but pay you as little as possible… forget benefits of any kind. They make it seem like they are doing you a favour for allowing you to work for their company. It’s such bullshit.

Any way I need to get back to writing more cover letters and searching endlessly for any bitch ass job I can get. Fuck.

If Judgement Day actually comes on Saturday I hope enough shit gets fucked up that getting a job will be the last of anyones worries.

First of all they are not 5 cents. They are just in the bulk section and go for 2 $ something/lb because they are Organic and cool since they are in Whole Foods… everything in Whole Foods is extra expensive just because it’s in that store. That place pisses me off… not only because it’s filled with a bunch of rich soccer moms, hippies, yuppies, eco-nazi’s and zened-out-yoga-wanna-be’s… but also because you have to pay arm-and-leg just to buy something that is actually good for you. It’s so fucked up if you think of it. The normal stuff we buy at the average supermarket is lower priced because it’s all hazardous to our health. Take beef for example. At Safeway 4 pieces of sirloin go for like 10$ CAN or someshit like that. At Whole Foods 2 pieces of Rib Eye go for 20$ CAN… the reason: the cow was actually grass-fed…. WTF?!?!? Aren’t all cows supposed to be grass-fed? Last time I was in Kindergarten they taught us that the cow sais moo and eats fucking grass!! The Safeway-grade cow, as it turns out, fucking eats meat… as in ground-up, legit animal meat in order for the cows to grow and bulk up faster so they can be slaughtered faster and humans can buy and devour that shit faster. Not to sound like some kind of animal-rights-hippie-bastard but the world has obviously flipped 180 degrees. We live in a world were we have to pay double or triple the price in order to eat a steak that has been grass-fed.

I wonder what the Whole Foods “5 cent” candies are made of… correction… I wonder what normal gas-station/corner store 5 cent candies are made of?? Probably some type of indigestible nuclear-waste sprinkled with crystalized poison that simulates sour sugar.

This whole Osama Bin Faggit thing is pretty ridiculous. Maybe the Navy Seal team killed him, maybe not… but the picture that has been released, which shows his face half-blown off, is fake-and-a-half. Here is what I mean…

As you can clearly see… whoever released the photo of a “dead Osama” just used an older photo from the internet which is the one I have showing on the right. Essentially what was done is someone used the tracing tool to cut out the head, on the original pic, then paste it on top of a pic which shows some other dead brown guy. US marines & other army personnel take pics of the dudes they fuck up all the time so there is plenty of shit on the internet to choose from. So any way… the traced head was placed directly over the head of the dead brown guy. Then both layers were sized and adjusted so the proportions stay the same and match one another. Using the feather eraser tool, on a low opacity, the top portion of Osamas head was erased in certain places to expose the bloody corpse underneath. The lower part, (nose, beard, cheeks and mouth), was kept intact and maybe darkened slightly to make it look like he’s been dead for a while. Using the feather brush, and possibly the smudge tool, helps blend both layers together to make it look more realistic and avoid any sharp edges or unwanted definition.

Easy, peasy. I’m not gonna lie though… whatever nerdy bitch constructed this he/she did a fairly slick Photoshop job. If you look closely at the beard area you can tell that it has been cut out of another photo because the quality doesn’t match that of the layer it’s been pasted onto. (The lower half of Osamas face is much more pixellated then the upper half.) Also the skin tones don’t match.

Either Osama isn’t dead, never existed or has been dead for years… non the less I smell bullshit. US is planning something for sure.

Nice try nerds.

As I am about to begin fueling the Chevy at the local Chevron station a VERY hot chick pulls up at the pump across from me. Distracted by how hot she is I don’t bother to look at what gas-grade I select. Halfway through fueling I realize I selected Plus instead of Regular. Plus was at 137.6 yesterday & the Chevy has a 19.6 gallon tank. Was it worth it? Not for me because she just got into her Jetta once she was done and drove off instead of taking me to the washroom and giving me a BJ. Well…. at least my truck got a treat.

Conclusion: Hot girls always end up costing you more… even indirectly it seems. Fuck!

Because they have to. End of story.

Girls in their late teens and early adulthood, (a.k.a. prime dating ages), are a bunch of ego-driven gang of ungrateful and full-of-themselves cunts who think they are light years ahead of guys their age in regards to intellect, life, experience, sex, etc… Basically they think a guy their age is clearly not good enough. So naturally that means they need to date a guy who is 10 years older then them. You can see this at clubs all the time. There will be a bunch of hot-ass bitches dressed in dresses, skirts or shorts which purposefully show off their beautiful asses and tops which show off their tits… this would be cool if most were not 17-18 yr olds with fake ID’s. The girls smear an inch of shitty make-up on their faces to look older and hotter for all the 25-35 yr old guido-roid-monkey-douche-fucks who can always be found at the club. Well… only the hot girls can get away with this… the nasty ones still go for older guys but usually at more trashy-hipster-type clubs where the scum of society goes to chill out. In the meantime all the guys who are the RIGHT age for these girls are like, “Fuck… what a bitch… let’s go crash a high school party”. These girls are fucking retards who should get crushed by a falling piano… or a falling roid-monkey… or a falling box of Cover Girl eyeshadow and lip gloss.

Another extreme is when girls, instead of acting like a slutty punching bag, pretend to act all mature and shit as if they where in their 30’s but are actually 22. That shit makes me want to ship them to Ethiopia in the crossfire of a tribal war and say, “what?!?!?… your mature right?… you can easily get out of this… hell… maybe you can even use your maturity and create peace between the local warlords… just do those tricks you use to brainwash your 31 year old boyfriend”. I mean if you try and talk to one of these chicks the convo is usually over once you say your age. From now on I think I will always say I’m or 31 so I can finally date a girl my age.

In order to understand how these girls’ over-inflated-sad-excuse-for-brains work we need to understand what they are after. Like I said in a previous Blog entry, my class is 95% female so I have learned a thing or two about how they think… or try to think rather. The best way to interpret this twisted situation is by simply stating that any female who does not live in the middle of fucking nowhere in some totally ass-backward-fucked shack somewhere is essentially a cold-hearted Gold Digger. To make matters worse they are incredibly impatient and want their dreams to come true NOW or else they would rather kill themselves… or become nasty fat-emo-goths. The sad but funny but actually way more sad then funny thing is that they, (dumb girls), would rather sacrifice their happiness and love and bullshit just to have a sugar daddy. We can blame the media for this I suppose but I also suppose females were created without the gift of common sense… which is truly unfortunate because I would want a 22 year old-hot-as-fuck girl who is honest, loyal, smart, funny, good in bed, knows when to shut the fuck up, does not show me pics of her old BF’s on facebook, knows how to cook, goes for walks, hikes, dresses well, does not flirt with other guys, doesn’t go clubbing much, doesn’t spend her money on stupid shit, doesn’t spend my money on stupid shit, drives well, has rational goals in life, wants kids, likes to do normal stuff, is not a robot and…oh yeah… has common fucking SENSE!!…. BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA maybe on another planet. Regardless… these females strongly believe that by dating someone much, much older will accelerate their life and make everything fine and dandy. A guy who is their own age, or close to, does not have the capability to fulfill any of this apparently. That is some short sighted, tunnel vision, egoistic bullshit. Not only are these girls selfish as shit and retarded, they are also… well… yea… just retarded.

They think they are so skilled at being uber skanks and having a 10 yr older BF who has a bit more possessions then a guy their age. But what they don’t realize is that the guy they are dating is too much of a loser to find anyone his own age. If a 30+ male has trouble finding someone his age then there is something seriously wrong about this situation. First of all, people that age should be married already, or at least engaged or some shit like that. Secondly, even if the man has been chillin in the international space station for the last 12 years of his life, at this age he should have the right thinking, possessions, goals, attitude, state of mind, mentality, etc… to attract a women his age. A 22 year old chick and a 30 year old man are worlds apart and are on totally different levels and should find each other actually either boring or immature. If an older guy is going for the young ones that means he is either: a perv, a loser, a dork, brain dead, a guido, going through his midlife crisis at 30 or someone who lacks some serious amounts of confidence. All those things are exactly what these bitches think dudes their age are… not the 30 year old man-whores. It’s funny because what these chicks do not, and probably will not, realize is that the guys they want are the smart ones… who are way too smart to go for some dumb 20-something-year-old cunt, and are probably already married and are busy with important shit.

It’s not like I’m trying to save these girls from being trashy, greedy sluts and getting their feelings hurt… by all means they deserve the ultimate karma-fuck. The only problem is that the percentage of girls my age who are hot, and all that good stuff, is rapidly depleting because they think the grass is greener over 30. Unfortunately there is no way around it and I should probably become a priest so I can say fuck-off to this whole needing a GF thing or just date high school girls because there is NO WAY IN HELL that I’m going to date those sad amounts of gross-bitchy-left-out-uncoordinated-lame-ass girls left who are my age.

In conclusion… If you want to date a girl who is your age, and is actually hot, just say your 31.