About two years ago I went to my girlfriends, (at the time), house for a Halloween party. I was there early to help set-up, have lunch, fuck, pretend to help set-up, fuck some more and then get my drink on. Once all her gay-ass loser friends came over the party was on… even though it could barely be defined as a party because her friends were seriously so fucking gay. We played this drinking game called “I never”… basically everyone forms a circle and has their drinks ready. When it’s your turn to speak you have to say “I never” followed by something sexual, ridiculous, gross, awesome, etc… “I never broke into a barn at 3 am, while high on Meth, and fucked a horse”, would be a good example of what can be said. Anyone in the circle who has actually done what the person said has to have a drink… then it’s the next persons turn & so on & so forth.

Any way… I ended up taking lots of drinks because everything anyone said they never did was something I deff’s did… I guess I’m fucking nasty that way. It didn’t take too long before I was hammered out of my mind and really bored at the same time. I needed an escape! Suddenly it came to me… I need to take a shit! Awesome… I’ll just slip into the bathroom and drop a champion ‘cuz why not.

So this just had to be one of those shits that never end… just keep coming & coming & coming in one continuous log. After what felt like hours of pain, I was done! I then scoped what the fuck just got dropped into the toilet. Being drunk & all I didn’t think that it would be any issue flushing this bad boy… so I flushed… then came the horror. The water swirled, the log shifted a bit… and then stopped. FUCK! I was freaking out… imagine the situation… I am dating this dumb bitch who likes to make a big deal out of everything and to make matters worse she goes to my school. Her roommate also goes to my school. A bunch of people are over as well. I started searching the washroom for something I could use as a plunger incase. I gave it another go. FLUSH!…. Nothing, nothing….noooothing….finally, seconds before the flush cycle finishes, the shit goes down. Phew! What a relief. I made sure to wash my hands and go get more crunk.

I still try to imagine what would have happened if it never flushed and just flooded all over her washroom during a Halloween party. I’d come out all drunk and shit, “excuse me guys but I have a lil’ problem in here… I took a shit and it wont flush…. yeaaaaaa. Can one of you girls help?”

Shudders*

So just remember… take a shit before you go to your girlfriends house!

… I have no idea why this memory came up… all I know is that I’m so glad I’m not dating that bitch any more!!!