Archives for posts with tag: Sex

Seriously… living in Shitcouver you get accustomed to seeing LG’s & cougars wearing yoga pants paired with a pair of Uggs that are usually warped out of shape & are muddy from all the fucking rain we get. Fine. Yea your a dumb bitch but just how dumb are you? Let’s break it down: Girls wear yoga pants because it’s an effortless way to make their asses look tasty… which is fair enough but it becomes pretty lame when every girl is doing it. Yoga pants make you look fuckable but they also make you look like a lazy bitch who has zero fashion sense & just wants a dick up the ass. I thought girls were supposed to be creative… wear a nice skirt or dress or some tasteful jeans. Those will do the trick just as well… unless walking around looking like a stupid fucktoy is your thing. It bothers me even more when women over the age of 35 wear lululemons. You’re not 16 anymore & you sure as hell don’t do yoga so wtf are you trying to pull?? Stop trying to be cool like your slut daughter thinks she is… go wear clothing that is appropriate for your age. If you are going to be a senseless LG in your lululemons while doing things/being in places where those pants are just not acceptable please don’t tuck them into your dirty, shape less Uggs. Guys hate that btw… the boner we get from seeing ur bulging ass withers quickly at the sight of Uggs.

Because they have to. End of story.

Girls in their late teens and early adulthood, (a.k.a. prime dating ages), are a bunch of ego-driven gang of ungrateful and full-of-themselves cunts who think they are light years ahead of guys their age in regards to intellect, life, experience, sex, etc… Basically they think a guy their age is clearly not good enough. So naturally that means they need to date a guy who is 10 years older then them. You can see this at clubs all the time. There will be a bunch of hot-ass bitches dressed in dresses, skirts or shorts which purposefully show off their beautiful asses and tops which show off their tits… this would be cool if most were not 17-18 yr olds with fake ID’s. The girls smear an inch of shitty make-up on their faces to look older and hotter for all the 25-35 yr old guido-roid-monkey-douche-fucks who can always be found at the club. Well… only the hot girls can get away with this… the nasty ones still go for older guys but usually at more trashy-hipster-type clubs where the scum of society goes to chill out. In the meantime all the guys who are the RIGHT age for these girls are like, “Fuck… what a bitch… let’s go crash a high school party”. These girls are fucking retards who should get crushed by a falling piano… or a falling roid-monkey… or a falling box of Cover Girl eyeshadow and lip gloss.

Another extreme is when girls, instead of acting like a slutty punching bag, pretend to act all mature and shit as if they where in their 30’s but are actually 22. That shit makes me want to ship them to Ethiopia in the crossfire of a tribal war and say, “what?!?!?… your mature right?… you can easily get out of this… hell… maybe you can even use your maturity and create peace between the local warlords… just do those tricks you use to brainwash your 31 year old boyfriend”. I mean if you try and talk to one of these chicks the convo is usually over once you say your age. From now on I think I will always say I’m or 31 so I can finally date a girl my age.

In order to understand how these girls’ over-inflated-sad-excuse-for-brains work we need to understand what they are after. Like I said in a previous Blog entry, my class is 95% female so I have learned a thing or two about how they think… or try to think rather. The best way to interpret this twisted situation is by simply stating that any female who does not live in the middle of fucking nowhere in some totally ass-backward-fucked shack somewhere is essentially a cold-hearted Gold Digger. To make matters worse they are incredibly impatient and want their dreams to come true NOW or else they would rather kill themselves… or become nasty fat-emo-goths. The sad but funny but actually way more sad then funny thing is that they, (dumb girls), would rather sacrifice their happiness and love and bullshit just to have a sugar daddy. We can blame the media for this I suppose but I also suppose females were created without the gift of common sense… which is truly unfortunate because I would want a 22 year old-hot-as-fuck girl who is honest, loyal, smart, funny, good in bed, knows when to shut the fuck up, does not show me pics of her old BF’s on facebook, knows how to cook, goes for walks, hikes, dresses well, does not flirt with other guys, doesn’t go clubbing much, doesn’t spend her money on stupid shit, doesn’t spend my money on stupid shit, drives well, has rational goals in life, wants kids, likes to do normal stuff, is not a robot and…oh yeah… has common fucking SENSE!!…. BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA maybe on another planet. Regardless… these females strongly believe that by dating someone much, much older will accelerate their life and make everything fine and dandy. A guy who is their own age, or close to, does not have the capability to fulfill any of this apparently. That is some short sighted, tunnel vision, egoistic bullshit. Not only are these girls selfish as shit and retarded, they are also… well… yea… just retarded.

They think they are so skilled at being uber skanks and having a 10 yr older BF who has a bit more possessions then a guy their age. But what they don’t realize is that the guy they are dating is too much of a loser to find anyone his own age. If a 30+ male has trouble finding someone his age then there is something seriously wrong about this situation. First of all, people that age should be married already, or at least engaged or some shit like that. Secondly, even if the man has been chillin in the international space station for the last 12 years of his life, at this age he should have the right thinking, possessions, goals, attitude, state of mind, mentality, etc… to attract a women his age. A 22 year old chick and a 30 year old man are worlds apart and are on totally different levels and should find each other actually either boring or immature. If an older guy is going for the young ones that means he is either: a perv, a loser, a dork, brain dead, a guido, going through his midlife crisis at 30 or someone who lacks some serious amounts of confidence. All those things are exactly what these bitches think dudes their age are… not the 30 year old man-whores. It’s funny because what these chicks do not, and probably will not, realize is that the guys they want are the smart ones… who are way too smart to go for some dumb 20-something-year-old cunt, and are probably already married and are busy with important shit.

It’s not like I’m trying to save these girls from being trashy, greedy sluts and getting their feelings hurt… by all means they deserve the ultimate karma-fuck. The only problem is that the percentage of girls my age who are hot, and all that good stuff, is rapidly depleting because they think the grass is greener over 30. Unfortunately there is no way around it and I should probably become a priest so I can say fuck-off to this whole needing a GF thing or just date high school girls because there is NO WAY IN HELL that I’m going to date those sad amounts of gross-bitchy-left-out-uncoordinated-lame-ass girls left who are my age.

In conclusion… If you want to date a girl who is your age, and is actually hot, just say your 31.