Archives for posts with tag: Yoga

Seriously… living in Shitcouver you get accustomed to seeing LG’s & cougars wearing yoga pants paired with a pair of Uggs that are usually warped out of shape & are muddy from all the fucking rain we get. Fine. Yea your a dumb bitch but just how dumb are you? Let’s break it down: Girls wear yoga pants because it’s an effortless way to make their asses look tasty… which is fair enough but it becomes pretty lame when every girl is doing it. Yoga pants make you look fuckable but they also make you look like a lazy bitch who has zero fashion sense & just wants a dick up the ass. I thought girls were supposed to be creative… wear a nice skirt or dress or some tasteful jeans. Those will do the trick just as well… unless walking around looking like a stupid fucktoy is your thing. It bothers me even more when women over the age of 35 wear lululemons. You’re not 16 anymore & you sure as hell don’t do yoga so wtf are you trying to pull?? Stop trying to be cool like your slut daughter thinks she is… go wear clothing that is appropriate for your age. If you are going to be a senseless LG in your lululemons while doing things/being in places where those pants are just not acceptable please don’t tuck them into your dirty, shape less Uggs. Guys hate that btw… the boner we get from seeing ur bulging ass withers quickly at the sight of Uggs.

First of all they are not 5 cents. They are just in the bulk section and go for 2 $ something/lb because they are Organic and cool since they are in Whole Foods… everything in Whole Foods is extra expensive just because it’s in that store. That place pisses me off… not only because it’s filled with a bunch of rich soccer moms, hippies, yuppies, eco-nazi’s and zened-out-yoga-wanna-be’s… but also because you have to pay arm-and-leg just to buy something that is actually good for you. It’s so fucked up if you think of it. The normal stuff we buy at the average supermarket is lower priced because it’s all hazardous to our health. Take beef for example. At Safeway 4 pieces of sirloin go for like 10$ CAN or someshit like that. At Whole Foods 2 pieces of Rib Eye go for 20$ CAN… the reason: the cow was actually grass-fed…. WTF?!?!? Aren’t all cows supposed to be grass-fed? Last time I was in Kindergarten they taught us that the cow sais moo and eats fucking grass!! The Safeway-grade cow, as it turns out, fucking eats meat… as in ground-up, legit animal meat in order for the cows to grow and bulk up faster so they can be slaughtered faster and humans can buy and devour that shit faster. Not to sound like some kind of animal-rights-hippie-bastard but the world has obviously flipped 180 degrees. We live in a world were we have to pay double or triple the price in order to eat a steak that has been grass-fed.

I wonder what the Whole Foods “5 cent” candies are made of… correction… I wonder what normal gas-station/corner store 5 cent candies are made of?? Probably some type of indigestible nuclear-waste sprinkled with crystalized poison that simulates sour sugar.